Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Getting around in China : "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"

One of the funny post which i had received as a mail forward. Iam sure you will enjoi it.

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...and be ready for China .

In order to continue getting-by in China , we need to learn English the
way it is spoken...... ......... ........

Practice by reading the following conversation.

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a hotel
guest and room-service today......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken ? Creepse?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"

Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."

RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan
sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish
moppin we botter?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We botter?"

Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea.. meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken , Anglish moppin,
we botter on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS' ......and you do, don't you! :-) :-)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

A Very Funny Story - What Consultants actually Do !

A farmer was checking his herd on a remote hillside in upper Wensleydale when suddenly a brand-new BMW drew up.

The driver, in a Paul Smith suit, Gucci shoes, Rayban sunglasses and expensive tie, leans out the window and asks Jim, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The farmer looks at the man, obviously a well-to-do city slicker, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Of course, why not?"

The man parks his car, whips out his laptop computer, connects it to his mobile phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another satellite which scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The city slicker then opens the digital photo and exports it to an image-processing facility.

Within seconds he receives an e-mail on his phone that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a database through a connected spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and after a few seconds receives a response.

Finally he prints out a full-colour 15-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"Well, I reckon you can take one of my animals," says the farmer. He watches the well-dressed man select one of the young ones and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the boot of his car.

Then the farmer says, "Now then, if I can tell you exactly what your business is will you give me back my calf?"

The man thinks about it for a couple of seconds and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant," says the farmer.

"Wow! That's correct," says the well-dressed man, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answers the farmer. "You show up here even though nobody asked you to; you want to get paid for an answer I already know to a question I never asked; you try to show me how much cleverer than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows: this is a flock of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."

Thursday, April 9, 2009

You'll be a Man, my son!

Got this one as a forward.


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:


If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:






If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And–which is more–you'll be a Man, my son!

P.S: Thanks Preeti for sharing it with me.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Heart Touching Story !!!

I received this mail as a forward. Thought of sharing it with you all... :)
Iam sure it will touch you.


At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed..

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball .. the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. Al l were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home ! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team 'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Reflections - A Carrot, an Egg or a Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were hard
for her. She was tired of fighting and struggling, and wanted to give up.
Her mother took her to the kitchen, filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to the boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished out each of them and
placed them in a separate bowl. Turning to her daughter she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs and coffee,” she answered. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel each of the items. The daughter noted that the carrots were now soft and the egg had become hard. When she tasted the coffee she smiled at its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, “What does this all this mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity…boiling
water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in hard and strong and unrelenting, however it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile, but after sitting in the boiling water its inside had hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do
you respond?

Are you like the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do you become soft and lose your strength?

Are you like the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with heat? Did you initially have a fluid spirit, but after tragedy, have you become hardened and stiff?

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water by releasing its fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. How do you handle adversity, darling?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Friday, February 27, 2009

Embracing Imperfection

A touching story by a girl.

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got Up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good,the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

10 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE

Came across an article about Ways to Boost Self confidence.

How many times during your growing years did your parents tell you to walk straight or sit up straight? You may have casually dismissed it, or maybe you didn't really pay attention. As an adult, though, you realise the wisdom of the advice.

Simple practices like these don't just help you physically but also psychologically. Psychologists say that there are many little ways that can instantly help boost self-confidence. Here are some easy tips on how you can do just that.


Grooming

The first thing that works for a confident person is his or her personal hygiene. Right from your hair, your face, your body, your fingers, and your skin -- keep them clean and well maintained. If you have a body odour problem, take remedial measures (use deodorants and bactericidal soaps).

Fighting shy? Try yoga

Check your teeth and get them fixed if there is a problem. Brush everyday twice, if you can, even after meals. You can even pop in a mint after your meals.

Take care of your skin by eating the right food and drinking lots of water. If it needs more care, take help from professionals.

Knowing you look your best is an easy and effective way to help you act your best.


Dress for success


Dressing well and appropriately can do wonders for one's self esteem. Many of us wear clothes that look nice on the clothes rack but do not necessarily suit our body type. Wear clothes that fit you well. If you are on the healthier side, wear clothes that aren't too tight yet not loose or baggy, which just adds to the bulk and does not make you look any better.

Dressing well does not mean you need to spend your entire salary investing in designer brands. Choose your clothes wisely -- it's quality not quantity that counts. Pick up a few outfits that make a statement instead of loads of outfits that do nothing for your confidence.

The other thing to do is watch the popular verdict. If most people say pink is your colour and you feel comfortable wearing pink, do it.


Good posture


Good posture has an immediate and lasting impact on your confidence. Do you recollect the time you were at the door, about to face an interview? What did you do instinctively? Didn't you take a deep breath? By doing that two things happen -- your stomach goes in and your head is held high.

Always hold your head high, throw your shoulders back, keep your back straight and walk with confident steps. Practice in the mirror a few times to make sure your doing it right, without looking too stiff.


Walk smart

Do you take small, shuffling steps? Do you fling your arms around when you walk? Stop! You may be doing something sub-consciously that does not really compliment your style.

Be aware of how you walk. Be quick and energetic with a spring in your step. Think of a nice outdoor activity that you like doing, feeling the breeze on your face and letting your heart guide your walk.

If you are still not comfortable, try this age-old trick. Place a big book on your head and try to walk without dropping it. This is a great way to improve posture and gait.


Smile often

To complete the look, make sure to smile. Smile as often as you can and, if you can manage, let a tiny smile hang around the corners of your mouth.

In all your interactions, look people in the eye, greet them and smile. You'll see the other person transform in front of you.


Be empathic


Your confidence levels rise drastically when you successfully connect with people around you. For that you need to be empathic towards your family, friends and colleagues to begin with. Once you can deal and help other people with their emotions and problems, you immediately increase your influence with your circle of friends, acquaintances and colleagues.


Learn to calm yourself


This is probably the most important factor when it comes to confidence -- being able to face every situation calmly. But this does not come naturally to everyone, which is why you need to train yourself.

Find activities that calm you -- like talking a walk, listening to music, dancing, talking to your friends, reading, writing, gardening, cooking -- any activity that makes you feel happy. Do it once or twice a week or month, depending on the time you have.

Meditation techniques help too.


Empower yourself

Knowledge almost always boosts self-confidence. Empower yourself with knowledge -- of your surroundings, of your job, of people, of the world around you. A good grasp of current events helps you strike up meaningful conversation and ensures that you're not left out.

One of the simplest things to do is read the newspaper, talk to people and be aware and observant.


Keep a soul knick-knack

A soul knick-knack can help you tide over those times when your confidence is tested. It could be your guru's photo, a gift from a loved one, your lucky charm, or even a photograph of a loved one. This soul knick-knack needs to be something that can bring a smile to your face, specially during testing times.


Find solutions to problems

Do not procrastinate or run away from your problems. The sign of a confident person is that he or she takes the problem head on and finds a solution. If you don't think you can handle it on your own, there is no shame in seeking help.

Talk about it with friends or colleagues, or write it down while listing out various solutions, pros and cons.

Source: ManagementParadise.com

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Financial Stability Quote by Warren Buffet

A must read Motivational Message from Warren Buffett - the worlds richest man in Forbes survey - 2008.

"We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations. Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.

Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older. This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.

Hard work : All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness : A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings : Never depend on a single source of income.
Spending : If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
Savings : Don't save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving.
Accounting : It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing : Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
Risk-taking : Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
Investment : Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life. "